Post by Administrator on Oct 6, 2016 7:57:57 GMT
ROYAL NAVY SPEAK
There’s a lot of things that seamen say - that seem to give `em pleasure,
They see the world and all about - and that’s not always leisure,
But the Navy has a language - they made it `most their own,
You’ll not always hear it though, unless Jack’s on leave at home.
To ring eight bells is crossed the bar or `dead` to shore side men,
`An if you heard of Jack with bumps of course-well that’s a Wren,
Jack Dusty and Jam Bos`un, they are masters of the store,
Jews march-past is check your purse after a night ashore.
They also speak of choppers - the ones that sort of fly,
Known as angry palm trees that go for a flutter-by,
The Jesus nut is the main one, that holds the rotor on,
And gattling gobs are talkers who chat too much or long.
Underpants are rompers, where the knicker python’s stowed,
Ready to use a playpen where `ere his girlfriends towed,
And the morning sickness, with the ladies dodgy tummy,
Then it’s called Egyptian flu `cus she’s going to be a mummy.
Bombay runners are `roaches that run around and sting,
Turd tank for the rectum, and wire is electric string,
Night fighters are the coloured chaps, neck oil is suds or beer,
Sparrow fart is the break of day and hat rack is the queer.
Hitler’s vittlers the catering staff, that bring the men some grub,
The pond is the Atlantic, raise the peepstick on a sub,
Humungus is enormous- that you ought to know,
An arctic fox is a frozen turd laying in the snow.
Stagger juice is rum, and squitters are the trots,
Porridge guns are bagpipes played by the friendly Scots,
A swindle sheet - an expenses claim or similar type of caper,
The circular file - a basket - one for chucking paper.
A great big pavement pizza when someone’s been a little sick,
And siphoning the python when you fancy pumping ship,
It’s the devil dodging Padre that’s called the amen wallah,
Also named the sin bos`un and noted by his collar.
Plus the Irish hurricane - a flat calm I suppose,
Irish mail is a bag of spuds and snot box is the nose,
Henpecked is a hangover from drinking Famous Grouse,
Good-bye now from the hermit box - the Captains little house.