'Twas the night before Christmas'

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'Twas the night before Christmas, aboard our U-boat

Not a single ship spotted, in Churchill’s big moat;

The torpedoes were loaded in each tube with care,

In hopes that some merchants soon would be there;

The crewmen were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of French girls clouded their heads;

I pulled up the covers, and put down my cap,

And I settled down for a short winter's nap,

When out on the bridge there arose such a clatter,

the unmistakable sound of machine gun chatter.

Away to the command room I flew like a flash,

rushed up the ladder and threw open the hatch.

The watch crew was brave as guns spit hot lead

the chief of the watch crew shouted “Flugzeug ahead!”,

When I looked up above, oh what would did I see?

Twas a Sunderland bomber diving on me!

I ordered a crash dive, we had to be quick!

Alarm bells were ringing, the sound made me sick!

More rapid than schnellboots this Sunderland came,

The crew must be faster! So I called them by name;

"Now, Donner! now, Jurgen! now, Helmut and Fritz!

get your asses to the bow or we’ll be in deep sh*t!

From the stern to the bow and each bulk head between!

“Move your butts boys! This Sunderland’s mean!"

The depth charges fell as the bomber roared by,

and the bomber pulled up to return to the sky,

All around the u-boat the depth charges flew,

encircling us in a second or two.

And then, in a heartbeat, I heard splashes above

I expected a jostle a jolt and a shove.

as the crew held on tightly, expecting the worst

not one single depth charge let out its burst.

Were they all duds? Was this some kind of trick?

One thing was certain this pilot was slick!

He dove in the darkness, and pin-pointed us right,

we all should be fish food on this holy night.

When our boat hit the surface oh what did we see?

Twas a dozen depth charges afloat on the sea!

Bernard looked at me and he cleared up his throat

“Herr kaleun, depth charges are not meant to float”

I peered at the watch crew as we all scratched our heads,

“A perfect pattern men… we should all be dead”

were they timed?, or magnetic? Or old contact mines?

The Watch officer said “Hey look they have signs”,

And I laughed when I saw what each sign had said;

The crew spoke no English so aloud I had read,
As the words left my lips the whole world seemed right…

"Happy Christmas old Fritz, There’s no war tonight!"